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The one about friends of friends
Mara Bande
May 13, 2025 • Takes: 5 minutes
13th of May ‘25
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Can you tell your boss I'm amazing?
Let’s talk about references and referrals.
There’s something wildly awkward about asking for help. Especially when it's not the “can you hold my purse for a sec?” kind of help, but the “can you tell your boss I'm amazing?” kind. You know, asking someone you just kinda know to bring up your name in a meeting, forward your CV to their manager, or vouch for you to someone two doors down. It feels bold. A little too in-your-face bold.
Even asking a former boss to be your reference is super weird. You loved working with them but… did they love working with you? (mine did, cause I’m delightful obvs)
Ok BUT, If the roles were reversed, you'd do it. Even for someone a bit random you didn’t know that well. Even if you never grew up playing Barbies together. You’d still say yes. You’d probably even ask, “What do you want me to say?” And then you'd say it.
So why is it so hard to ask?
Maybe we think people won’t help us unless they’re our best friend. But most people - especially the ones who’ve been through it - get it. They’ve asked before. They’ve been helped before. And they’re probably just as ready to pay it forward.
Recently, I found out that there are only three degrees of separation between me and the pope. So yeah. You're good introing me to your boss.
Mara, willing to lie to a recruiter for you 💕
Find me on Instagram as @amarenabandivan
🦊 What’s New from Hei Dingo
Last week we hosted a lovely live chat on our Instagram with Career Coaches Lidiia Salo and Karolina Numminen. Our discussion was all about networking, best practices and pitfalls to avoid. We received some questions about networking opportunities for non-technical people, and we delivered. Check out our rundown 👇
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